Still Monkey-ing Around in South America (Part II)

CALI, PART II: THE CASE OF THE MISSING CAMERA, THE CROOKED POLICE AND OUR SURREAL ENCOUNTER WITH THE THIEF WHO SPOKE PERFECT ENGLISH!

After an afternoon relaxing in the comfort of the cinema´s air conditioning, we arrived back at the hostal only to be greeted by a rather frantic receptionist who was talking rather quickly and very frantically. We managed to decipher a few words...thief, police and iPod. Oh no! We hastily entered our room only to discover that both Rebekah´s iPod and digital camera had gone missing.

We were told that the police had Rebekah´s iPod (no mention of the camera) and that we should head to the "reclamar" section at La Estación Flora. Once there, we asked a dozing police officer where we could find the "reclamar" section, only to discover that there was no said section....go figure! Ok....how about just picking up the recovered iPod then...we are fine about there not being a formal section! Umm...that didnt work, the guy still didnt have a clue. Great...this is gonna be easy! After much persuasion and at least 3 explanations of what had happened in our hostal (though we still actually weren´t clear on the series of events ourselves) the guy insisted on ringing our hostal (?!) to confirm our story and gauge the details...strange approach. He FINALLY decided to get on the walkie talkie, radio-d a number of people (seemed like most of the force), asked us for a detailed description of the iPod and then we were told to wait!

So, as we sat on a bench, outside the station and swatted mosquitos, the 3 officers that surrounded us, all as useless as each other, were alot more interested in The Case of the 4 Labradors.

The Case: A middle aged guy had joined us with 4 Labs in tow, each a different colour, wearing a different coloured scarf and attached to a different coloured lead...strange! Anyway it transpired that the guy had got in trouble with a few of his neighbours as when he walked the dogs, they claimed he allowed them to excrete on their property.

Accused: Claimed that he always had a plastic bag to hand and without fail scoooped the offending poop on every occasion....(just as he wrapped up his defense he brandished a plastic bag from his pocket with noticeable flair!)

Police: Thats all well and good, but why is that bag empty...where is the poop that you have picked up today?!

Accused: (Stuttering) Umm, once i pick it up, i deposit it elsewhere...

Police: Elsewhere...like where?

Accused: (Beginning to sound less sure of himself) Umm...like in rubbish bins?!

Police: Well...that is also illegal...you should be using the animal waste bins...

[Priya´s Note: I dont think these even exist out here!]

....and so the case went on, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth (yes, it really WAS that tedious!) Until finally, the police, the accused and the angry neighbours all managed to tire themselves out to such an extent, that they literally stopped arguing mid sentence and all went their separate ways!
Uh hmm...oops, sorry, sorry to interrupt, perdón, disculpa... just one thing...there was that little case about a stolen camera and iPod?! Oh sure, it´s not important...we can wait! (Have you got a queue we can stand in?!)

So after about 20 (patient) mins of waiting, a motorcycle pulls up...the two police officers walk up to us, ask us about the case and ask us to describe the iPod (again!) [I would just like to mention that we DONT KNOW about the case, as we had had a very confused version briefly relayed to us, were merely told to pick up the goods and return.] Anyway after listening to what we had to say, we then tried to ask a few questions of our own. Where did you find the guy? Do you have the camera as well? Whats going to happen to the thief? All questions were met with a stony silence until the officers replied, "We dont know about your case" -What the bloody hell?! Why the hell where they so interested and inquisitive and wasting our time? What is going on. Rebekah understandably is fairly upset at this point. Especially as everytime we asked a legit Q it was met with a "wait a minute" or a Q in response usually relating to our length of travels, nationalities, civil status, occupations, thoughts on Colombia etc....surely small talk wasn´t overly relevant at this moment in time...Oh, im sorry, or are we standing in a bar or some other kind of social setting?!

Rebekah is fuming by this point, and the situation (and our relationship with the officers) is deteriorating rapidly. A particularly obnoxious officer, that went by the nickname of Gordito (Fatso) then began to laugh every time we opened our mouths. Oh no.... I was ok and managed to stay calm, but Beks lost it. (Fair play to her...I know for a FACT that if I had had my stuff stolen, the frustrated tears would have arrived alot earlier. I cried when I had to pay the penalty for missing my flight, for godssake!)

Before long a meatwagon pulls up and two MORE police officers get out (oh, did I mention that another had since arrived on his pushbike?!) Same ole routine....us relating the story that we didnt know, describing the iPod in great detail and just asking for the goods to be returned. Lots of inappropriate Qs being fired back at us but finally we glimpsed the mystery iPod. And the camera, have you got that too?!

So this was going nowhere, an officer explained that we needed to file a report for the theft, giving stements and do some paperwork in order to get the iPod back. They didnt know anything about the camera. Ok fine, lets do it! Oh, you guys have to wait....

Why?! Whats happening, over an hour had ticked by already and no one had the decency to explain protocol or WHAT WE WERE WAITING FOR!! Every time a Q was aske, we would be shsssed and told to wait?! Aaaaarrrgh! Eventually we were told that we needed to head over to El Palacio de Justicia (Palace of Justice) to do the required paperwork. Ok fine, lets do it! Oh, you guys have to wait....

Found out that we were waiting for some documents to arrive that we needed to take with us to the Palace of Justice. Ok, where are they coming from? Shsssh...pls wait!

We decided to distance ourselves from the force, (well, there were 8 of them milling about!!) So we head over to the kerb and sat down. After 20mins, the 2 motorcyclists head off (they went to get the documents). A further 20 mins later...they returned.

Meanwhile....
I asked an officer about the camera. -they didnt know.
Ok, where were they holding the thief? -in the station
what he´s been in there since before we arrived? -yes.
So why didnt anyone have a clue what was happening...oh never mind.
Could you please ask the thief about the camera -oh, ok...yes we will!

After the documents arrived, the thief was led out past us and put in the meatwagon, we were then loaded into the front section and an officer climbed into the driver seat. I wasn´t keen....positive that the thief who looked very dodgy would make like a llama and spit on me before long! Beks climbed into the front passenger seat, I bundled onto her lap. The officer wasnt having any of it and I was relegated to stare at the grill from the back!

We started off...and soon a voice drifted from the back of the wagon, "Do you girls speak English?"
Yes, we do...do you?...hang on...how come you speak English? Where´s the camera? What actually happened? Oh man...why did you have to choose our room man? Whats your name? Nice to meet you. Dude, did you steal a camera too?

Turns out 35yr old Ricardo, had lived in New York for a number of years was a Psychologist and Language Teacher by trade. He had been hiding from the police, managed to scale from one building into ours through an upstairs window, then run down the stairs and hid under George´s recently vacated bed in our room. As he was leaving he swiped what he could and made a run for it, being caught 3 blocks away by the police! He wasnt sure what was gonna happen to him, but was very apologetic. Wiiierd...what is going on?!

So we are driving along in the meatwagon towards the Palace of Justice, but Im not feeling too good about the journey, we are headed towards a seriously dodgy area and im starting to think that this may be some kind of elaborate setup?! Burning trash cans, broken glass, run down buildings, lots of homeless people and crazy looking people, where the hell are we?! Just as I start to repeat my fears to Beks (again!) we turn the corner and the Palace of Justice is sprawled out in front of us...oh ok, panic over...false alarm!

So the four of us (officer, thief, Beks and I) sign in, and then Ricardo gets led away to be processed and we are left standing around....waiting! Officers walk up to us at random intervals and we are relieved that we are finally getting the process rolling, only to be back at square one when we realise we are being asked how to troubleshoot problems with THEIR iPods. WHAT?!

Eventually our officer, Jhon swung by with a fistful of forms (the ones he had previously had to go and collect and then bring with us) and began to fill them out. Another guy, Alejandro had joined our party and was having to help him out at every entry (I think i was Jhon´s first case...great!) Jhon walks off after a while, we glance over to see where he has gone and see Ricardo (thief) happily wandering about unattended...

After a couple of hours we are lead through to the back of the place , into a room to give statements (even though we weren´t there, didnt have the full story and had heard most of what we knew from the thief?!) So we enter a room and lying under one of the desks snoozing is Ricardo! Oh well as long as you guys have made him comfortable, dont worry about us (shouldnt there be doughnuts and kwaffee available?!) So we sit, and Beks begins to give a statement, Alejandro then wants me in the other room....he wants me to give a statement for something else?! So I sit, as Beks and relate what happened to her?!

As I sit there correcting Alejandro´s Spanish and practically typing out the statement, while he asks me the usual personal Qs, Ricardo wanders through for a little chat...tries to make himself comfy in the corner of my room, then decides he wont be and wanders back out! Im glad Ricardo isnt a murderer at this point!!

The evening progressed like that, just as we were wrapping up, we needed Ricardo to give his details one final time. He was very distracted and tasking ages and yet again we had the chance to talk to him. Wouldnt have chosen to but Ricardo´s opening line was, "you girls are wasting my time!" Excuse me?????? Dude, YOU are the one who nicked OUR stuff....how are we wasting your time!! A small, light hearted argument ensued as everyone else sat around a bit baffled by the scene!

FINALLY after a long evening, Beks and I walk out, statements in hand, exhausted.
Q: Whats going to happen to Ricardo?
A: He needed somewhere to sleep so they were gonna let him sleep there, then release him in the mornin.

WHAT A DAY!

Final thoughts: The Police stole the camera (this often happens!) They probably wouldnt have handed back the iPod either if it handed have been handed in by a member of the public, who had then alerted the receptionist at the hostal that the police had their hands on it.

On a more serious note: I also had my flashlight stolen, but seeing as it was 99p from Woolworths, I have managed to come to terms with my loss and move on. Thought about heading to the police to file a report for insurance purposes...but figure I might give that fun activity a miss as I dont have 3 days to spare at the moment!!

posted by Priya @ 4:38 PM