Still Monkey-ing Around in South America (Part II)

THE PERUVIAN MANICURE....
....so much adventure for S/. 10!

So after my hectic journey to Lima, I decided on the spur of the moment, as I walked past a beauty salon, to treat myself to a manicure. I didnt have to dig too deeply into my pocket as it was only setting me back $3.50.

So this is what I thought would be involved:

• The lady would file my nails, she only really needed to do my right hand as I had been too lazy to do it myself.
• Push back the cuticles a bit, although once again, my nails are in pretty good shape, so not much work there.
• A quick buff, to get ´em shining.
• A slick of varnish

Estimated time to completion: 20 mins, give or take.

The following events are based on a very much true story....

• She filed. I had indicated the length that I wanted my nails to be, she got a bit overzealous with the ole nail file, but I was ok with them being slightly shorter.
• I put my little fingernails in a bowl to soak...who knew I was priming them for the horrors that lay ahead....
• Next, the fun part....she got out her, no doubt favourite, weapon of choice, a pair of cuticle cutters, which looked more like a pair of pliers or wire cutters or even wire strippers or anything type of instrument along those lines that would be more likely to be found in my grandad´s shed than a beauty salon, and she proceeded to cut! A pair of garden shears would have achieved the same outcome....I was left with very sore cuticles and skin surrounding my nails that looked like it had been gnawed at relentlessly for the last 10 years. Nice. So far, def value for money!
• In her defence, she did then whip her nail file back out and begin to file the skin around my nails, giving them the look that they had once been abused by a relentless-skin-around-the-nails-gnawer, but were on the road to recovery.....though only JUST on that road!
• Once that was done she grabbed what I thought was nail varnish remover. Before i had a chance to inform her that I wasnt in fact wearing nail varnish, she put the heavily doused cotton pad onto the ring finger cuticle of my left hand. I was bleeding (man down, man down) and although it wasn´t actually nail varnish remover, it was some variant of the same alcoholic stream....who said beauty doesnt come at a price -the STING!!!
• I took the pain like a lady, didnt wanna seem like an amateur, but when she introduced the rest of my cuticles to the world of alcohol abuse, I wasn´t sure for how much longer I could maintain my composure!
• I glanced around the shop, hoping to find something to distract me from the harrowing events unfolding under my nose....and a distraction was just what I found!
• A little old lady, much like the grandmother in The Wedding Singer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0016687/photogallery-ss-0) was having her hair blow dried. I happened to catch the end of this phenomenal course of events....
  her hairdresser was teasing her hair just like Danny Zuko does in Grease, and was quite obviously gunning for the "petrified look" He achieved it, the lady´s hair was a state. I wanted to run over and ask her to put her glasses back on and take a long hard look at herself in the mirror, before walking out into the public eye. No such luck. She was prob so high from the amount of hairspray that had been used, that glasses or not, she would have thought she looked great!!! And therefore what she did walk out with, was a pretty sturdy helmet!!!
• Back to my nails. Well, what more is there to say. Once she had successfully hacked at them, and filed them a bit more, oh and a little bit more (so now there isnt much nail left at all, and I am almost surprised that the tips of my fingers are still intact...the sight of more blood, would NOT have shocked me!) she started on the nail varnish.
• I opted for a French manicure (the more natural look) -I have so many layers of varnish on my nails that despite the Nail Enamel Dryer (yes, I was able to partake in the aerosol abuse as well, despite not having my hair done) it took a LOOONG time for them to dry. So loong in fact that i got impatient, jammed my hand into my pocket to get out the S/. 10 and smudged the lot!!
• Whoops!

Actual time to completion: 85 mins, give or take.

posted by Priya @ 12:11 PM